The Artist Father – Striving to be Creative

The Artist Father – Striving to be Creative

The Artist Dad’s goal is to create perfect relationships with his children. He is devoted, accepting and gentle, often putting his children’s needs and desires before his own. His "go with the flow" outlook means he will spend time playing with his children when they are young, and will find other ways to engage and interact with them as they get older. He pays close attention to his children's feelings, really listening, trying to understand, and respond appropriately.

At His Best: The Artist Dad’s goal is to create perfect relationships with his children. He is devoted, accepting and gentle, often putting his children’s needs and desires before his own. His “go with the flow” outlook means he will spend time playing with his children when they are young, and will find other ways to engage and interact with them as they get older. He pays close attention to his children’s feelings, really listening, trying to understand, and respond appropriately. He is also comfortable sharing his own feelings with his children. He likes doing the little things that matter most to them. Unlike other Father Styles, this dad knows intuitively how to soothe his child’s upset feelings by reassuring and encouraging. He helps them believe they can do anything they want and does not impose his will on them.

Potential Pitfalls: This dad has no limits to what he will do for his children and struggles with giving too much. He finds disciplining his children extremely difficult and he can become uncharacteristically harsh, rigid and emotional when he has to do this. He will often compare himself to other fathers and believe his is not behaving like a “real man”. He can adopt a pseudo-macho approach to compensate for his sensitive nature, most likely when other fathers are present. This can leave his children occasionally wondering who he is. It is hard for him to assert himself with traditional authority figures, such as teachers and medical professionals. Organizing and keeping daily family routines can seem overwhelming. He is sporadic in his focus, tends to procrastinate and often feels unproductive.

Tips for Artist Fathers: This dad needs to learn to give to himself and learn to say “no” to his children without judging himself as selfish. A supportive partner, good friend, or professional coach or counselor may be beneficial in learning how to say “no”. He can also benefit from learning conflict communication skills. The Artist Dad need to stop comparing himself to and trying to be like other fathers, and find value in his own parenting style. He does best when he trusts his own wisdom when making decisions on behalf of his children. Because of his introverted nature, he needs to spend long blocks of time alone to read, watch a movie, or participate in solitary sports. Most of all, the Artist dad needs to let himself make mistakes and learn from them instead of trying to be perfect.

Father’s Day with the Artist Dad: Many Dads of this Style don’t feel they deserve to be acknowledged because they are perfectionists and extremely critical of how they parent. They also have difficulty having the attention on them. But don’t even think of not doing something to acknowledge them because it will wound them deeply. It doesn’t have to be grand, only authentic. Whatever the gift, it needs to be personal and indicate that he is known. For example, his children can write a story or a poem, draw a picture and make a frame, anything with a personal touch. He will also be happy with a CD of a well liked artist, tickets to a play, or a promised day in nature. Simple, relational and heartfelt gifts are all appreciated gifts.

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