Although we start out with the intention to develop and enhance loving relationship with ourselves and others, too often we end up creating relationships that are more like the relationship we had with our mother or father, and less about what we actually want to create. We don’t realize that our brains created patterns for relating during our formative years that are causing us to stay stuck in dysfunctional relationships. 

Recognizing and Transforming Dysfunctional Relationships

When we use the SSPS model with clients, we can help them to understand that the primary cause of relationship dissatisfaction is frustrated needs, and that dysfunctional behavior, power struggles, and emotional acting out are all a result of predominant needs not being met.  The ability to identify needs through this system can eliminate months of costly sessions spent in uncovering needs that very often people don’t even know exist, so that the work of transforming relationships can start right away.

Each individual’s Striving Style determines their approach to bonding and relating to others. It also determines: the amount of energy they will put into their relationships; their tolerance for intimacy; how much time they are able to be with others; and how much time they need alone. 

Lead Your Clients to Understanding

As SSPS practitioners, we can provide our clients with the necessary training for having loving relationships, which includes learning to recognize and understand their needs, and how to communicate and negotiate to get those needs met. You will be able to work with individuals and couples to teach them about their predominant needs and to identify they behaviors they currently use to try to get those needs met, and what they do when those needs are not met. Working with your clients, you will be able to identify ways of managing their own behavior when their needs are not being met, how to get needs met through taking actions themselves and through open communication with their partner.  You will be able to show your clients the part of the brain they are forming their relationships with, and how they can develop the skills and capacity for intimacy, negotiation and conflict management with the SSPS Developmental Framework.

Using the SSPS, you can work with your clients who have relationship challenges to:

• Stop repeating the same dysfunctional relationships
• Know what they need in a relationship, which puts them in the driver’s seat
• Not have to leave to get their needs met
• Stop blaming others for not knowing what they need
• Learn to negotiate to get their needs met

Learn more about how you can use the SSPS to enhance your client's relationships today!