The Spirit of the Holidays - Performer Holiday Style

The Spirit of the Holidays - Performer Holiday Style

I don’t think any of the Striving Styles embrace the spirit of the holidays more than the Performer. Everything from the enjoyment of shopping to organizing and attending social events brings them an opportunity to get their need for recognition met. They are truly energized by making the holidays exciting for others while at the same time, enjoying the limelight when they do it.

If you have a Performer in your life, you know they have to go that extra distance to make everything look beautiful – from gifts to Christmas trees to place settings. A fully engaged Performer Style sprinkles stardust on the holidays, making it a bigger, better experience for all concerned. They do it with such ease that while family, friends and colleagues admire them for doing it, they don’t offer any help and come to expect the Performer will just keep doing everything for them. They can be taken advantage of and instead of others feeling grateful to them; they start acting as though they are entitled to be taken care of by the Performer.

A Performer client recounted her experience of coming face to face with the fact that no one was even aware of how much she was doing with such little help. During the holidays she had attended multiple social events while continuing to work and make sure the appropriate presents were bought for her employees, extended family, husband and two children. Everyone was well taken care of and her generosity in giving was obvious. She threw a party in her home for her staff, a group of 24 people, organizing and making sure every detail was perfect. The staff loved it, had a fabulous time and then all left without helping clean up. They gave her recognition for the great event, but no help.

There were other indicators that she was being taken advantage of, but her wakeup call came when she arrived home exhausted on Christmas Eve after picking up just a few extra gifts, to find that her stay-at-home husband had not finished wrapping presents and had left it for her to do. At midnight, she was still up wrapping presents (she had to put ribbons and notes on each present so that her children would delight in the experience). Crying her eyes out, she realized how little people saw the woman who was so attached to being recognized and admired, that no one felt they needed to take care of her.

Tomorrow we will look at how Performers can stay connected to their needs during the holidays.